Mom and Dad,
Thank you so much for being my biggest supporters, and doing life with me. Thank you for never giving up on me, even after all the times I gave up on myself. There were times when I felt lost, unable to find my way home, but you two were always at the end of the road with open arms, always supporting and encouraging me to be myself. Thank you for being my biggest supporters at sporting events, from t-ball games, to softball, to soccer, basketball, to the dreaded volleyball games, wondering if I would get to play even one rotation.
Thank you for loving me. As a child, teenager, and young adult girl, there was never a moment when I never felt loved beyond words. These past few years have been extremely rough, from anxiety to depression, to failed friend groups, to school work. I wouldn't have been able to surmount these obstacles without your constant encouragement and attentive listening for hours on end.
College is a completely empty place without you two, full of new and sometimes intimidating places and experiences. I'm completely on my own, having 2-3 classes per day, a heavy workload that hits you like a truck, trying to figure out what and when to eat or do my laundry. Making friends hasn't been the hardest part, it's connecting with those friends, and going outside of my comfort zone to make plans, rather than sit around all day and evening, buried 6 feet under in homework. It's time I move on and grow as a young adult.
While sitting on the 2nd floor commonspace in Flannery Hall, overlooking the trees and hills and the Loyola library, I've been inspired to write this to you. There's so much I have to be thankful for, and it's all due to your never-ending love and support through every age and stage of my development in my 18 years here on Earth. I read a lot of these kinds of blog posts, from college students to their parents, but I wanted to make mine as special and meaningful as possible. Rather than saying a ton of cliches that everyone throws around, I'm going to insert some of our favorite memories and quotes together.
Mom,
You've always told me to "spread my wings and fly", ever since I was a little girl. When I'm feeling depressed you reassure me and tell me "deep down inside you have the same wisdom for yourself just waiting to jump out at your mature independent self". You always respond to my texts, sometimes right away, other times 5 hours later, but the emotion and excitement I get when I see your name pop up on my phone never fails to put a smile on my face. You always know exactly what to say to me in regards to every little fear and nuance I have, from my extremely sensitive stomach, to my constant fear of throwing up (it's called emetophobia, yes it's a real scientific fear :) ). When I'm constantly stressing and worrying about events and situations that haven't even happened yet, especially when it comes to school, my favorite thing you've said to me was "take one week at a time, and just have fun with it and the grade will be whatever it is with you trying your best. There's a fine line between nerves and excitement, so just go with it.
Thanks for always reminding me that with each accomplishment, I will feel better and better and tip the balance towards "excitement with the butterflies, or flutter flies as I used to call them". You always encourage me to throw the stress out the window and have as much fun as possible. You're right when you tell me to stop battling going outside my comfort zone and going out with new friends. "Each time you do it will get easier and more fun. Stop focusing on missing us and work hard on accomplishing moving forward socially."
Dad,
Where do I even begin? I've always been a "daddy's girl" ever since I could remember. From yelling at you, to walking around naked in mom's high heels, to you taking embarrassing pictures of me or flicking my butt, I've always looked up to you as a dad, but also my best friend. I know things haven't been easy on both of us these past few years, both experiencing hardships with depression, you restless legs and back injuries, but look where we are now! Better and stronger than ever. We share the same tv and movie interests, and I love our endless stream of text messages where we send our favorite movie quotes until we laugh out hysterically. You won't be able to tell me "oh behave" while I'm away at college so sorry! Thanks for being you, and being the best dad a girl could ever dream of. It's hard to admit it, but I think I lucked out with you. This past summer in Paris was the trip of a lifetime, full of amazing memories and laughs shared, along with scares and anxiety. Yet, we grew closer as a result, and it made saying good bye that much harder than I ever anticipated.
That being said, I've met so many amazing people who have influenced and impacted my life in the short week I've been on campus. My evergreen Anna, one of the sweetest girls I have ever met, in just a few short days, has become one of my closest friends. She never fails to help me out, or give me the best advice. She has encouraged me that I can power through the massive workload, and reassured me that I will do great things in college and the future, and she will always be there for me if I need her. Anna is always there for me when I need someone to talk, and I wouldn't have been able to survive my first week on campus without her, and for that I'm forever grateful to have someone like her. Without her, college would have been completely different.
College is like a rollercoaster, full of twists and turns and in between. It takes time to find your path and way around the world of college, and even though I don't have my parents to help me, I am blessed to have amazing friends, like Anna and SO MANY MORE, who are always there to pick me up. I'm no where near where I want to be (still have tons of anxiety and nerves), but I'm hoping I'm on the right path.
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